Forgivable Sins
by Tijuana Pirate
Summary: Nobody's innocent. Everyone has done something that they should regret, even if they're too blind to see it. Even heroes have things that they should be ashamed of. Reno pov.


Author's Notes: I blame this story on Trigun because I wrote it very shortly after having watched the entire series.

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Forgivable Sins

I don't need this. I don't need you. Fucking hypocrite. Yeah, I know you. Say one thing and do another, believe one thing andpractice something else. Fucking preachers, I hate 'em. Fear, redemption, repent, repent! Well I don't have anything to be afraid of.

"Why are you here?"

You glare at me, half-petulant. Heh, there's still a bit of the woman I remember. I'm surprised you haven't broken yet. Don't worry, it'll happen.

I lean back in my chair and the wood groans beneath me. I smirk because I know I'm riling you up. Sure, I don't look too smart but I sure as hell can read people; he taught me well enough for that. You hate the fact that I can just sit here while you seethe. Okay, gimme the speech sweetheart.

"You don't belong here."

"So that's your job now? Handing out eviction notices?"

Heh, I didn't think I'd enjoy this quite as much. Yeah, I figured they'd turn to you. You have that… _way_ about you. People see it. Heh. Of course they'd turn to you with their little fucking 'problem'. Bunch 'a cowards.

"They don't want you here."

"But I like it here."

Smug, I know you hate it. It's so easy to play you along sister.

I suppose it's my fault. I shouldn't have let myself slip like that. Still, as if I'd let that fucker walk all over me. Heh,I showed him. I wonder if he made it… not that I was trying to kill him. If I had been, he'd be dead. 'Course, you already know that, don't you? So why are you doing it?

Do you really think you can take me? Alone? Sure, you're fast and you're strong but you guys always moved in fucking packs. Like dogs. Or maybe wolves. Lone wolfs don't really live long, ya know that sweetheart?

You take a breath and I almost laugh. It's so fucking easy. Anyone else might've missed it but I'm not like other people. Scared sweetheart?

"You don't belong here."

"You're repeating yourself."

I get up all at once. Yeah, I'm still fast. Surprised? Never underestimate your opponent babe. My heels click on the floor.

"What did they tell you?"

I ask mostly to throw you off. This is fun. I walk around slowly, circling you. You keep your eyes looking straight forward but I can see your hands clench. You're brave, at least. No match for a Turk, but brave. Fuck, how did you guys ever _win_?

"That you were here."

I never noticed before but when you're angry there's a little vein that twitches along the curve of your neck. There it is again. Twitch. Heh.

"Who told you?"

Aha! That got your attention. Oh, Elena would've been proud of _that_ glare. _Like I'm gonna tell **you** Turk!_ Ha! Okay sweetheart. I don't really care. My grin widens. This _is _fun.

"So why do it?"

You raise your chin and glare at me. Ha, there's the pride I remember! Oh yeah, I remember it...Gods, once I had you pinned down on the ground. Rude was handling Strife but I fucking had you. You were looking right down my barrel and I was about to squeeze the trigger. That was the weakness in your unit; Strife was your strongest fighter by far but if we could take out one of you… but you always had the best fucking luck. We never saw Valentine.

So you're still here and, in a way, so am I. That's not what I was thinking about though. I've seen lots of people die, sweetheart, more than you could ever imagine. There's nothing glorious in it. I'm surprised but I think you know that too. But I remember you looking down my barrel and then at me and you never even blinked. _Do it_! Gods I wanted to. Fucking Valentine.

It's the same look though. You're all the same, you fucking vigilantes. So self-righteous.

"Because they asked," you finally spit out.

"Do you always do what people tell you to?" I ask, amused. I never would've thought that glare could get any chillier.

"No. Sometimes when they ask." You smile suddenly. "Did Shinra ever _ask_ you?"

Twitch. Point for you sweetheart.

"No, they fucking_ begged_." Smooth. Ha, were you expecting that?

"For your resignation?"

Laughter echoes hollowly in the room. I can't help it. Two points for you sweetheart. Enough of that though. I return your glare stare for stare.

"There's only one way to stop being a Turk."

Aha, there _is _something there. Nobody's completely unafraid, huh? I wonder what's gone and made you suicidal. You know you can't beat me and I personally don't feel like leaving. So what are you gonna do babe?

You look down but not away. I can see that you're still watching me from under your eyelashes. You're not stupid. A little smile plays at your lips.

"That's sad, Reno."

Twitch. What?

You look up at me again. There's something… something I can't read in your eyes.

"Why keep fighting?"

What?

What?

I'm rooted to my spot. What did you say? That smile of yours grows a little bit. It's not quite mocking. You suddenly look a lot more relaxed and I realize that I'm the one who's tense. I consciously relax my muscles. If you want to play that game, I'll follow you for now.

You see my reaction and a little bit of your smile touches your eyes.

"Why keep fighting?" you ask again. The question doesn't hit me as hard as before.

"Shinra's gone. Midgar's finished. Why not just let it go?"

"And you?" I ask. "Wandering around to whatever fucking town you like. 'Helping people'. Why do _you _keep fighting? Find yourself a fucking life girl."

Ha! Point for me. You didn't think I knew that much about you, huh? Actually, I'm mostly guessing. I can see that I was right though.

"A life? That's a joke. I could say the same to you." You spit the words like venom.

"So do it," comes my easy retort.

Your eyes widen and meet mine. It's quiet for a long time. Not willing to take up the challenge? Disappointing. Still, not too many people can look me in the eye anymore.

You finally look away but the victory doesn't mean too much.

"They just asked me to talk to you," you say quietly. Defeated? I expected more from you. I guess you don't like being called a hypocrite. Fucking predictable.

"Why should I leave? I haven't done anything wrong… lately."

Your eyes widen and I grin again. Take a look sweetheart; that's all there is.

Maybe you remember, huh? Some people are just dieing to forget but I think that you're the type who holds on to it. All of it. So do you remember? What I was? What we were?

Horror, that's what I can see in your eyes. Oh, girl, you aren't cut out for this. You should've said no. Fucking people. I was gonna head out in a day or two. One little slip. Cowardly fucks.

I lean in towards you and you take a step back.

"You shouldn't have gotten messed up in it, sweetheart. You should've just stayed home."

Oh, the glare's back. You straighten.

"Just leave Reno. They don't want you here."

A chuckle.

"Then where the Hell am I supposed to _go_ sweetheart?"

You blink. Not expecting that one either? Man, you really aren't cut out from this. Even Elena was better. You recover quickly though.

"Junon, Costa del Sol, Fort Condor…"

I grin.

"I like it here."

I walk away from you, turning my back on you.

"You don't belong here!"

"You've said that already."

"Just leave!"

"No!"

This time I turn. You are making me dangerously close to angry girl. Careful now.

"What are you going to _do_ about it," I spit out. "Fight me, kill me? Is that what you want?"

This is getting out of hand. I can't stop myself.

"Run me out of town? Is that it? Don't make me fucking laugh! Hypocrite! Fucking hypocrites, all of you! What makes you so different from me? Huh?"

Where is this going?

"You've killed people!" You're yelling too. Feels good to vent, huh sweetheart?

"Don't give that _shit_ to me sweetheart! I've _seen _you fight bitch. You've got blood on-"

"Shut up!"

"Did you think it didn't matter? The soldiers, the army, shit! You would've killed _me _if you had had the chance! Didn't you want to? When we took her away? When I brought the _fucking plate down_?"

"Shut up!"

I advance on you. Stupid. Dangerous. I don't care.

"You are nothing but a fucking hypocrite! Standing there all high and mighty, acting like you've never done anything wrong! Acting like you've never fought a day in your life! It's bullshit! I've watched you kill people! It was so easy to you! Put a man in a uniform and he isn't a man anymore! He doesn't have a wife and he doesn't have kids!"

"It's not the same!"

"Like Hell it isn't! You self-deluded assholes think you've found yourselves a cause and suddenly everything's justifiable! You can go home when it's all over and laugh it up because you were right and we were wrong!"

"It wasn't like that!"

"Easy enough just to pack up and go home. You don't even need to wash your hands because there's no fucking blood on them! Well I've got news for you sweetheart! Yours aren't any cleaner than mine!"

Fast, you always were fast. The fist hits me square in the mouth. I stumble back and I clutch my jaw. I can taste blood.

You glare at me but I can see tears in your eyes. You know I'm right. How do you _sleep_ at night sweetheart?

I move my hand away and stand up straight, returning glare for glare.

"Let me tell you something about people, girl," the words come out dangerously slow.

There was a time when I was still a rookie, one mission that I chose as my own. I remember talking like this then too. Tseng was the only thing that held me back then but he's not here anymore. I'm not even thinking about what I'm saying but the words spill out anyway.

"People are cruel. They're ruthless. They'll do anything they can to get ahead in life. They'll crush anyone they want. It doesn't matter to them."

I'm advancing slowly on you again. My soft footfalls mark the spaces between each syllable. You don't move.

"Even the 'good people', the ones you're always so desperate to protect, are rotten. They all are. Every person has a thousand and one countless stupid petty sins heaped at their feet. Everyone's been callous to someone. Everyone's ignored someone in need. Indirectly, everyone's killed but most people are never bothered. They live their lives ignoring everything around them and die happy and convinced that they've lived a good life and that they'll meet their gods in paradise."

I stop right in front of you. Your eyes are wide. Nobody's ever talked to you like this before, have they?

"All those petty sins, we forget them because we're all guilty of the same things. Little indecencies. Small crimes that as a whole create human tragedy. Midgar was built on the backs of broken people and 'good people' were the ones laying the bricks. Nobody's innocent…. That's the difference between them and us."

"Us?"

A smile slowly touches my lips but there's no warmth there.

"Their sins are forgivable."

You gasp and try to step back. I'm not finished yet sweetheart. I grab your arm and keep you from running away.

"And do you know what the difference between you and me is?"

You shake you head. My grin widens.

"I've never run from my sins."

Your eyes widen. I can see it now; I can almost feel you starting to understand. Do you know what you are sweetheart? Do you?

I let you go and you fall to the floor. Your hand flies instinctively to the arm I was grabbing. I imagine that will leave a bruise. Good. People should leave marks on each other.

I walk towards the floor and leave you there. Broken. Pathetic. I turn before I leave.

"I think I'll be going now!"

I smile and wave before turning. I hear you gasp once, trying not to cry. There's a brief moment where I almost regret it. Almost.

I gave up regrets a long time ago.

Before I close the door you call my name. I pause, surprised. I turn and look to see you pulling yourself to your feet. You stand there, defiant still, as if I can't see the tears that are making tracks down your face.

"I never claimed to be innocent."

I'm quiet for a bit. There's so much that I could say to that but I don't. We look at each other for the longest time. Not broken, I decide. Not nearly broken.

I nod my head once before turning to leave. You don't move and I take it that you aren't going to try and stop me. Why should you? You just wanted me gone in the first place.

I draw the door closed behind me. I can imagine you're on the other side, still watching me. I grin.

"See you around," I mutter under my breath.

I reach into my pocket and pull out a cigarette.

Oh well. Looks like it's time for another city.

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End file.
